Category: Personal

Influences on The Ice Princess’s Fair Illusion

Posted October 5, 2018 by dove-author in Ace & Aro Rambling, Essays, Personal, Writing / 0 Comments

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It’s been a few days – feels like forever – but I’m back with another short not-a-guest-post essay on The Ice Princess’s Fair Illusion! This time it’s about 800 words discussing some of what influenced the story and why it is the way it is.

This essay literally took me ALL DAY to write. I have no idea if it’s good or terrible, but it is done and I’m in too much period-caused pain to care about anything else. (Sorry?)

Here’s the post on Patreon too! (Look, I’m actually remembering to add a link to the specific post now!)

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Retrospective: A Year Reading Asexual Fiction

Posted January 28, 2018 by dove-author in Ace & Aro Rambling, Essays, Personal / 0 Comments

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Retrospective: A Year Reading Asexual Fiction

In 2017, I read over 40 books featuring characters on the asexual (ace) spectrum in an effort to read predominantly ace rep this year. Though I failed at that, 40 books containing asexual representation is nothing to sniff at, especially considering how prevalent the claims are that the representation just doesn’t exist. Clearly it does because I read almost one book with ace rep per week.

This was a personal challenge I set myself, just as the year before, I set myself the challenge of reading predominantly internationally[1]. This time, however, it was part of a concentrated effort to actually read the books with asexual characters that I’d been accumulating and to discuss the representation they contain.

After I discovered asexuality around 2013, I let that knowledge sit quietly and soak in this idea that I wasn’t just odd and that I wasn’t alone. Slowly, I explored the spectrum and discovered more about myself. Slowly I started to accumulate books that I was terrified of reading either because the author is allosexual and I was scared they’d get it wrong or because the author is, like me, ace spec and I was scared of invalidating their experience by discussing it because it wasn’t mine.

But the more books I bought, watching them be buried under other shinier and newer acquisitions, and the more I realised how hard it is to find good representation even though the internet should be a great boon in this[2], the more I wanted to sit myself down and read the books I had despite my fears.

After a year of reading asexual fiction, I’ve noticed a few things about the way asexuality is treated in fiction and represented in books that feature explicit and deliberate asexual representation.

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How to Make a “List of Asexual Books” Post

Posted May 24, 2017 by dove-author in Ace & Aro Rambling, Personal, Writing / 0 Comments

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So… There’s something I’ve noticed about a lot of people making lists about asexual representation. Actually, there’s a few things I’ve noticed and they all fall into slightly similar patterns.

Before I start talking about how to make lists about asexual representation, I want to discuss something else briefly. I want to talk about how these lists make me feel. This is especially true of lists or listers that include multiple queer orientations in their lists. These lists often make me feel like the asexual representation is tacked on as an afterthought with barely any research into what asexual representation exists in the field. The books are out there!

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Anxiety, Using Labels and Yuri!!! On Ice

Posted December 17, 2016 by dove-author in Personal / 0 Comments

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Yesterday, I attended a job interview. I have anxiety, so a daylong trip that involves going to another country for a short interview is, well, let’s just say I spent most of today balancing needing to keep my sleep rhythm proper and needing to recuperate. I’m really glad that everyone I met was super nice to me because human kindness really helps me out. But even with human kindness the parts where I was travelling on my own were… not great.

I won’t go into all the details, but since it followed so closely on Yuri!!! On Ice episode 11 and because Yuuri’s anxiety has been on my mind a lot, it is something I’ve been thinking about and have been since I watched Yuuri’s flashback to last year’s Grand Prix Final where he failed. It also features VERY MILD spoilers for YOI episode 11.

Content Note: Descriptions of how anxiety manifests for me and related food issues as well as descriptions of how I talk about anxiety.

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How to Write a Character with Dyscalculia

Posted September 5, 2015 by dove-author in Personal, Writing / 0 Comments

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I’ve talked about how some of my characters (notably Eiryn, the protagonist of A Promise Broken) have dyscalculia and I’ve touched a little on the experience of writing a character like that. Since then I’ve noticed that some of the search terms that show up in my statistics deal with how to write a character with dyscalculia, so I figured I’d try to write a brief sort-of guide on the things you could do to make your writing of a character with dyscalculia better.

This is not a complete or definitive guide. By a long shot. There is no way I (or anyone) could write one of those. These are just a combination of ten suggestions and/or experiences that you can use to draw on to write a character with dycalculia. ^_^ I hope it’s helpful! Don’t hesitate to ask if you’ve got any questions. I’d be happy to try and help. Just remember that I don’t speak for everyone with dyscalculia.

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The Faces of Depression

Posted April 17, 2015 by dove-author in Personal / 0 Comments

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Please note! This post comes with a content warning for a discussion of depression in fiction, the different ways depression can show itself (or not), and references to suicide.

On a tangentially related note: This post was written for submission to a column anxiety weasels got too loud about. Mostly because I have no confidence in my ability to actually remember things accurately and what if I get it wrong?! So. You know. There’s that.

If anyone was wondering for any reason, why I haven’t commented on the Hugos… You know, apart from being the non-confrontational person I am in general, I was a little preoccupied attending a funeral and looking after myself. (If you’re worried: I am mostly doing okay by now, I think.) My thanks to all the moderate voices letting me keep somewhat up-to-date without being a ball of tears.

Lastly, my thanks to the lovely and wonderful people who looked it over for me and helped me get enough confidence to post it here.

And now, without further ado. A post below the cut!

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Writing Dyscalculia

Posted October 16, 2014 by dove-author in Essays, Personal, Writing / 0 Comments

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I don’t know how old I was when I learned that my dad has dyslexia. It’s one of those things I’ve always kind of known. I’ve also always kind of known that he never got the support he needed to excel at school. For me it’s maths. Like my dad’s situation with dyslexia, when I was in primary and secondary school dyscalculia wasn’t a thing people paid attention to. My mum remains firmly convinced that I woke up one day, said “I don’t like maths” and decided to suck at it for the rest of my life. Because that’s a thing people with invisible disabilities do, you know, they decide that they have a problem. Please note the heavy use of sarcasm in that sentence because we do not, in fact, decide to have a problem and then it magically appears and if only we just decide not to have a problem then it will go away like it’s never been.

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